The University of Maryland Police Department yesterday reported two bear sightings on campus. We’ve seen deer, raccoons, foxes and armies of squirrels—but can’t recall our last visit from a bear. So with apologies to David Letterman, we came up with a list of why this bear might have sauntered over here to UMD:

10. Was confused with an overfed squirrel.

9. Brown University’s mascot got lost.

8. Leaving a “special gift” at a Testudo statue.

7. Getting in line early for basketball tickets.

6. Taking a detour to avoid trudging up the Campus Drive hill.

5. Planning to fatten up via new all-you-can-eat meal plan.

4. Seeking cushy accommodations in Prince Frederick Hall.

3. Returning an overdue library book to McKeldin.

2. Picking up cubs from Gymkana’s summer camp.

1. Cooling off in the ODK Fountain

Any other theories? Share in the comments below.